To Elm

It’s sad the loss of one so young
A life unlived a heart unsung
I met Russell about four years ago in a place I tend to spend to much time. Those older and supposedly wiser who visit there tend to lose their grasp upon reality, but he never did. Always flippant and as some thought rude, I soon discovered he had a big heart and felt most of the normal things we all do but was better at seeming not to than most. I once hurt his feelings by accident and it soon became evident that he wasn’t missing anything said, but he chose what to reply to and what to let go. Ever since that incident I made a point of inquiring how he was and what he was up to. He was far better skilled in many things computer related than I am, and always tried to help others to understand.
His interest in motorcycles was well known to us all and several of us cautioned him to be careful while riding, and more so since he had several close calls and incidents. I knew that he was shy in life but on the internet he could be bold and decisive, and I’m sure had he been given time he would have been in life as well. He seemed well able to master any skills that interested him and would have had a fine career in the Navy or whatever field he chose.
I’m a parent and my first thoughts go out to his parents and his family. It’s truly terrible to lose a child, and nothing will heal their sorrow but time.
I have no idea if you will ever see this, but if you do I hope it gladdens you a bit to know Russell touched so many people in so many walks of life. You have my heart felt condolences.
To the others who knew him through the internet I can only say that he lives on as long as we remember him. So we must, he deserves a long life.
Rest he there in clouds on high
A shining light to guide us by

Elm/Russell was an incredibly close friend of mine. Although I never met him I saw him as a very good friend, he knew everything about me and I felt comfortable talking about anything and everything to him. Although to many he seemed rather cocky and arrogant, underneath he was just using that as a cover to hide his great insecurities and lack of confidence in himself. Underneath he was warm and caring and considerate. He’d listen to all my problems without once moaning and offer good advice. He was pretty wise beyond his years when it came to advice.
He was also very kind. I remember once when life wasn’t going that great for me, he sent me his gameboy for my birthday because he said I’d use it more than him and it’d cheer me up. He also sent my parents a hard drive of his when theirs failed and we were short of cash for a replacement.

He always said how he hoped one day he’d get out of the rut he was in and he’d have the nerve to talk to girls he liked, I always knew that whoever that girl was he’d treat her like a princess. Didn’t have one mean bone in his body, he would have given that girl the world. He wanted children because he adored children even though he was hardly out of childhood himself.

I tried to always be there for him, treated him like my little brother. I hoped to one day meet him but he was always shy about meeting up, just shy because he was scared I wouldn’t like him which was silly. There would have been no way that I couldn’t have liked him.

He had plans for his future. He was working for a local petrol station raising money so he could go to the gym regularly. He planned, once fit, to join the Navy. He was aiming to be a Communications Technician in the Royal Navy. He figured not only would it do him good, it’d boost his confidence and give him some qualifications.

He had a great love of bikes. He owned a Honda VFR750F and he always felt amazing on his bike. He said it was the ultimate adrenaline rush, the only time he really felt alive and happy. Sadly, riding his bike was the last thing he ever did.
Taken from: http://archive.thisishampshire.net/2005/8/12/93142.html

Police say the 18-year-old swerved to avoid a tractor pulling out of a track onto the westbound carriageway of A27 between the Ashfield and Luzborough roundabouts when his motorycle was in collision with an oncoming Skoda Felicia.

He died at the scene on the 5th August 2005. The night after I last spoke to him.

Elm would have been amazed by this. He honestly thought no one cared about him, that no one would notice if he was gone. If he can look down at this he’s probably laughing in disbelief at how upset people are over this. I know I can’t quite believe he’s gone and it’ll take a long time to fully accept it. I’ll never forget him. I still half expect him to log onto MSN and say ‘HA fooled you!’.

His name on MSN is still ‘Choose Life’. One of his favourite dance tracks was from the film Trainspotting with a track that had these lyrics:

RIP mate.

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